


One Thing Mr Dave Strider is no longer allowed to do on Halloween

by Pram_The_Oracle



Series: DaveJade Spacetime Week 2018 [3]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Canon Universe, F/F, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 17:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16454627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pram_The_Oracle/pseuds/Pram_The_Oracle
Summary: Davejade Spacetime Week 2018 Tuesday 30 October: Costumes PromptIn hindsight, that was obviously a stupid costume to wear in Jade’s presence.





	One Thing Mr Dave Strider is no longer allowed to do on Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> Canon Universe, set sometime after Act 7 and during or after the Credits

You glance at the clock on the wall. 10:00 PM exactly, and the Halloween party is in full swing. The guests are either dancing or mingling, the music is somehow both blaring yet still at a comfortable level of hearing, and the buffet table’s spread was a hit, albeit dwindling at an alarming rate. “Rose, It Would Appear Our Celebration of All Hallow’s Eve Is A Rousing Success.” You hear Kanaya say.

You smile, turning to your wife. “Indeed.” You reply, slyly moving your hand to her waist to pull her closer. Everyone is enjoying the party. Well, you thought, everyone that made it to the party, anyway.

“I Take From Your Sudden Frown That Dave And Jade Are Still Missing?” Kanaya asked, her worry visible on her face.

“Yes, no word yet from our brave and intrepid search party.” You still don’t know if sending John and Jane out to find the missing duo just an hour ago was the right call, but you’re getting worried.

The trouble started when Karkat stormed into your house when the party barely started, yelling at an absent Dave and Jade “HOW DARE YOU GUYS LEAVE ME!”. After Karkat realized neither of them were here, he told you that the three of them were supposed to meet up at Jade’s place, but when he got there late (he had to repair a broken part of his Troll Will Smith costume), the place was empty. The door was open, but no one was there. He assumed they left without him and went straight here.

At first you thought they just took their sweet time getting here, to be ironically fashionably late and all, but you can’t help but think something’s wrong. You were about to go look for them when John noticed you weren’t enjoying the party. When he learned of the situation, he volunteered to go look for them, since you had to host the party and all. Then Jane offered her services as an amateur Ace Dick, and off the Crocker-Egbert duo went.

That was an hour ago. You check your phone again, just in time for a message from Jane to arrive.

“Do you know what costume Dave and Jade was wearing?”

You text back ‘No, Karkat said they decided to keep the costumes a secret’” You pause, then you add, ‘Karkat says that Dave thinks people would think his costume was ironic or some stupid crap like that.’

Just a few seconds later Jane sent another message ‘Hoo hoo, I’ve solved the mystery! Hold on, John should be able to help them.’ Confused, you nonetheless put your phone away and continue to converse with Kanaya. You trust them to take care of any problem those two got into.

Half an hour later you hear some gasps coming from the guests near the door. You turn to look, and wish you didn’t. 

There, as naked as the day he was born, was Dave Strider. Except for his insufferable shades that he still had. Wait, was he born with those? Roxy’s whistling snapped you out of your thoughts, and you see John trying his best to prevent anyone from seeing too much of Dave. As he passes you by, he nodded and say “sup ladies?” Kanaya hissed at him as Dave quickly made his way to the bathroom followed by John. 

You just stare there, not sure at what just happened. You pat Kanaya’s hand and break away from her to approach the bathroom door. You hear some heated whispering through the door, followed by zapping sounds. You back away from the door just in time for John to exit the bathroom, looking at you confused before grinning. “Hoping to hear some boy on boy action?”

“Ha ha Egbert.” You roll your eyes, before dragging him away from the door into a more discreet nook of the party. “Alright, now spill. Why is Dave naked? Why isn’t Jade with you? Most importantly, where have they been all this time?”

John snorted. “Well… Dave was being kind of an idiot.”

“Of course.” You motion for him to continue.

“So yeah he’s naked because I had to tear off his costume-“

“Oh My. John, you do realize that sounds like-“

“Do you want to hear the rest of the story?” John scowled.”

“My apologies. Please continue.”

“So yeah, I tore off his costume, and threw the rest of it to distract Jade from tearing apart Dave. Evidently he went commando under the costume. That reminds me, right now Jade is being restrained by Jane while she’s busy ripping Dave’s costume.”

“Womangrit does come in handy. But why would Jade want to kill Dave? Is that what they’ve been doing all this time?”

“Yeah, basically. They’ve been chasing each other all over the place ever since Jade saw what Dave was wearing. Dave would Stop time and get away, try to take off his suit, only for Jade to warp in and start the chase all over again. It just so happened that they were right in front of the house before I tore off the costume and Dave bolted inside before realizing where he was.”

“But why tear it off?” You ask. There’s no need to tear it all off normally.

“Dave’s costume wouldn’t open normally. I think the zipper got stuck or something.”

“Ah, yes, that would explain that.” You stare John square in the eye, “Alright time for the million dollar question: what the hell was Dave wearing?”

“I think you can figure it out yourself. If you had to pick one costume NOT to wear in front of Jade, what would it be?” John asked.

You think for a moment. Bec Noir? The Condesce? Realization dawned, and you slowly lower your face to your waiting palms and groaned. “Oh god he didn’t.”

“Yep. He did.” John said, as you both turn to look when you hear the bathroom door open. You see a sheepish Dave in a normal knight costume exit the bathroom and join the crowd, just as Jane came in to bring in Jade wearing an old time safari hunter getup from the front door. “Even I know wearing a cat costume near somebody who’s half dog is a horrible idea.”

**Author's Note:**

> Had Jade killed him, it would have been deemed a Just Death.


End file.
